Emotional Competence (EC) = IQ + EQ
I recently conducted a team building training for a biotech firm located in the northeast USA. Like many successfully funded Venture Capital (VC) / Private Equity (PE) companies, they were in scale up mode. It was another opportunity to assist with communication skills needed to help facilitate the next level of growth.
Some were new to the industry. Others were new to the intensity of the VC/PE world. It was important that all participants understood the critical juncture they were at relative to their aggressive growth curve and the funding stage they were at.
We started off by talking about “A Place Called There”, aka the future state. What skills and behaviors would be needed to get the enterprise from Here to “There?” Three primary areas of need surfaced:
- Emotional Intelligence
- Empathetic Listening
- Mutual Accountability
These three components taken together comprise Emotional Competence (EC). And operating with Emotional Competence is what gets intense growth oriented start-ups from Here to “There.” Let’s look at each component individually.
1. Emotional intelligence / EQ
Emotional intelligence or EQ is simply a heightened awareness of the way we interact with each other. It is a crucial component part of Emotional Competence as it facilitates meaningful communication. It can pave the way for great success at work or at home. Emotionally Intelligent people understand that relationships are the conduit thru which business flows and work to maintain them.
EQ has four primary components:
- Self-Awareness – I know myself well
- Social Awareness – I make the effort to understand others
- Self-Management – I have grown the ability not to over-react
- Relationship Management – In the end, it’s all about relationships
Emotionally Competent people learn how to discard “Limiting Behaviors”. These may include: uncontrolled displays of anger, excessive drama, over-reactions, and other self-centered behaviors. People with good Emotional Intelligence have made a genuine effort to understand and to be understood. They are not intellectually lazy.
2. Empathic Listening
Empathic listening is what is termed “Level 5” listening. I can’t prove empirically that there is a direct correlation between Level 5 listening and successful teamplay, but my gut tells me it’s there. It is the only level that resides outside the listener’s frame of reference and is indicative of an Outward Mindset.
The other four levels operate solely within the listener’s frame of refence and are indicative of an Inward Mindset. Empathetic listeners greatly leverage their team’s capabilities by focusing outwardly. This is because level 5 listening is Motivational vs Transient Listening. As the local culture embraces Emotional Competence, people feel respected, recognized, remembered, and connected. It was suggested that teammates take a listening self-assessment and that the organization offer short term individual coaching as determined by leadership.
Level 1 – Ignoring the Speaker
- Not really listening to the speaker
- Really just waiting for your turn to speak
- Already decided what you are going to say
Level 2 – Pretending to Listen
- Nodding but not really paying attention
- Doing other things at the same time
- Can’t replay back what the person said
Level 3 – Selective Listening
- Picking out the parts you are interested in
- Or the parts that impact you
- Not getting the whole message or meaning
Level 4 – Attentive Listening
- Focused only on the speaker
- Concentrating on what they have to say
- Allowing them to finish what they say
- Asking follow up questions
Level 5 – Empathic Listening
- Focused only on the speaker
- Listens carefully to the words used
- Understanding the feelings behind the words
- Recognizes the emotions expressed
- Talks less and listens more
3. Mutual accountability
Prior to our live session, participants were asked to bring with them the answers to three questions.
a. Why does our Team within this Organization exist?
b. What do we aspire to become as a Team within this Organization?
And most importantly…
c. What are the most productive and desirable behaviors that will make that happen?
The responses are the basis for Mutual Accountability, especially question #3. The output was a living document that spelled out the behaviors needed in order to successfully get to the future state of “There.” Most importantly, it gives permission to and encourages peers to cordially challenge each other when they exhibit behaviors contrary to why the Team exists.
Positive behaviors will be things like:
- Supporting the consensus even if in initial disagreed with,
- Giving colleagues the benefit of the doubt regarding motives for their actions,
- Communicating non-judgmentally about things that really matter with a minimum of drama,
- Making the effort to understand teammates default communication styles and
- Having the courage and integrity to speak when it is necessary to do so.
Teams that clearly understand their mutual purpose, what the Team aspires to become, listen to each other empathetically, and focus outwardly, will reap the benefits of an emotionally competent culture.
So let’s figure out what we need to get good at, get after it and WIN as a TEAM….!
